This blog has been a great therapeutic tool for me during my treatment for Hodgkin’s lymphoma and in my subsequent rehab journey. In particular through my poetry, I like to share an insight into all aspects of cancer, but in particularly my poetry expresses some of the psychological and emotional components which often go unspoken.
This poem talks about one particular psychological aspect that I am still trying to get to grips and understand and seeking support to do this. It is essentially associated with a traumatic experience for me during my cancer recovery. I share this and its impact in a bid to support anyone else who is also experiencing similar episodes to know that they are not alone.
The Rabbit Hole
The world is good, the world is great,
Then all of a sudden it’s like your closed in a crate.
The pain returns along with the fear,
People all around, you struggle to hear.
Everything is escalated within,
And you feel like your crashing in a tailspin.
You try to get grounded to take you away from your thoughts,
To enable your consciousness to be sought.
You take some breaths, trying to gain control,
Because you know you’ve fallen down the rabbit hole.
As you come back out it’s hard to make sense,
Of what’s caused your emotions to be so intense.
So the darkness that came over you continues to linger,
As you try to regain control and find your anchor.
Time passes and the light once again starts to shine,
And you know you’ve crossed back over that line.
But what will cause it to happen again,
You don’t know the triggers so you don’t know when.
So you try to stop your brain from taking you there,
Afraid what it means, Afraid to share.